Bring Peace to your Relationships

 Every relationship is a “roller coaster” ride, filled with ups and downs; somewhere it can be really challenging, also very rewarding as well, leading to a thrilling package of love and togetherness.

No relationship is a perfect one, and it is totally normal for partners to disagree on things, have trust issues , incompatibility and unmet expectations, to name a few. The problem starts when the disagreements are handled poorly or delayed ,which causes more stress among partners resulting in further misunderstandings and arguments. Your relationship may be going through a tough phase now, but no conflict exists which cannot be resolved with poise and understanding. Everyone prefers a night of fun and cuddles over fighting and shouting. So, if you want to have a calm and fun relationship, here are some ways for you.

BEWARE OF YOUR FEELINGS AND TRY NOT TO OVERREACT

We tend to start arguments when we ourselves are annoyed. You might think that you are annoyed at your partner because they didn’t reply soon enough, or was late to a date, but in reality, you are annoyed because you disagreed with your friends or a dispute at the job. Before you start arguments, compose your feelings, and try to consciously listen to your thoughts. When you listen to something you dislike, you tend to be angry. But before you snap at your partner, take some time alone. If you still feel terrible, try something which uplifts your mood. This way the negativity curbs down, thoughts become more rational, and a person becomes less argumentative when confronting their partners.

COMMUNICATE

Communication is always the best effort you can put to stop your fights. When your partner says something that pisses you off explain it to them. We all have been to “one-word replies” , to make our partner known that we are angry. But it isn’t the healthiest way to sort out problems. In this digital world, though texting may help us to think and control one's emotions before replying, the person reading those might not be able to “catch” the tone of the texts; drawing out the argument for days. Then, the best you can do is sort the problems face to face and let your body language and tone do the talking.

Playing the blame game is never fruitful. It might be easy but is equally unfair, unkind and vague. When you blame your partner, they become more defensive; one becomes the victim and the other becomes the origin of all problems. Remember, listen to what each of you has to say, act upon that, and be proactive to solve the discomforts.

APOLOGISE AND ACCEPT APOLOGIES

If you want to be in a relation, get over your pride and learn to apologise. Making mistakes is very normal, fights are normal too and therefore both of you should be comfortable with apologizing. Both of you can do make valid points in an argument, so you need to be more open and apologise when you are wrong. When your partner is upset, they need your support and love. Show them your sincerity by making an apology.

Even if you are still angry after an intense fight, you should always accept an apology. If you don’t, you are putting your partner off apologizing in the future. Forgiveness is not something you should withhold, and if you do, your partner might end up thinking that you are playing with their feelings. Therefore, accept genuine apologies and try to fix the problem.

REMEMBER YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FIGHTS

If you are past your “honeymoon phase”, don’t you worry. You can always go on having a deep and meaningful relationship with some sincere efforts and love for each other.

Everyone has their baggage of problems, you need to learn to go past it and fight to make your relationship work.

Don’t just focus on the bad traits of your partner every time you fight. The more you focus on negative traits, the more negativity your relationship will get surrounded with. Think about the positive traits, recall why did you fall in love with them at first, or what are they good at. Always remember that there is a reason you are in this relationship. You might not be able to change the past, but the present and the future is yours to define. So, shut your hard feelings in the closet, start looking forward with positivity, be more generous and treat your partner with more love and care.

MAKE TIME TOGETHER AND TAKE TIME APART

This a mechanical world and we all have loads of responsibilities, be it career, passion, family and others. Sometimes, it may be difficult to take time out of your of a busy schedule and spend quality time with your partner, which can be very normal. But workload can never be your excuse every time. It is important to carve some time out of your schedule and give your partner a full day of undivided attention, to cherish and prioritize them. Express your affections and talk to them about your problems, which makes you come out as feeling positive about your relationship.

Equally, you should think about taking time apart from each other. While things at your work can cause stress, it also trues that relationship is overwhelming and stressful. Be encouraged about taking time apart, as it helps you to have a different perspective of your relationship.

LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF

Prioritize yourself first. If you don’t love yourself, you can neither impart love nor accept love from others.it becomes a constant worry that your partner may leave you. Insecurities grow from this emotional crack, makes you clingy, needy, jealous and annoying. Focus and spend time with yourself. Do not rely on others for complimenting you. Remind yourself that you are worthy of love and you will find yourself encountering fewer conflicts. One highly effective way of strengthening the relationship is taking good care of yourself, sparing some “me time”. Eat healthily and sleep well, for what it aids in a good relationship.

Every couple goes through rough patches but constant conflicts are tiring and draining. You tend to find the true essence of your relationship when there is more love than arguments. When there are fewer fights, you enjoy each other more. May these ways help you in your next arguments, and you resolve quickly into a more peaceful and fun relationship with each other.

-Susmita Chatterjee