A Thank You Note!

 

With Love: To them who deserve all our love.

A close acquaintance of mine once told me, you write very well and in fact, all my family members love to read your writing but why do you so often write about your parents? She further continued by saying to me that I need not exhibit my love for them by writing about them and it was enough if it was in my heart and that I should concentrate on writing about other serious issues prevailing in the society.

 

I choose not to reply and yes, this article can also be considered as a subtle reply to the rather profound question she thrust at me.

They say our talents are giving by God and what we do with it is the gift we are giving back to God. What better way to use God-given talents to express our love and admiration for our parents?

I particularly love to write about my parents, because of the upbringing, guidance and support I have received and been receiving from them.

My very birth was a result of their sacrifice. I remember my grandmother always telling me, how when my mom conceived, she had to undergo tremendous struggles, yet despite the poverty and the pain, my parents continued to love me and protect me in the womb despite a few doctors suggesting termination.

I remember how my dad and mom chose to eat radish and beets every single day due to lack of resources and bring in a little meat and keep it aside for me so that I could eat it.

I remember how dad and mom struggled at their workplaces, working in shifts just to put me in the best school and assure that I received the best education.

I remember how my parents encouraged every talent of mine without interfering and influencing my thoughts to fulfil their dreams.

I remember how they made our little house into a beautiful home with their love and fun.

This writes up is not just dedicated to my parents but to all those parents who silently work every day. Swallow every hardship, tackle every insecurity, wipe every tear, forget every aching knee just for the happiness of their children and expect nothing in return except for their love and time.

I still remember when I was barely 10 years old, I had penned my first write up. I had submitted the story in school and it was published in a newspaper. I remember the day when dad and mom rejoiced and we're filled with pride. Even today after almost 20 years, my dad and mom never fail to congratulate me even if it's the silliest of articles. Their appreciation and encouragement helped me to cope at those times when I have felt extremely demotivated and decided to stop writing.

I first wrote about my parents when I was in college and even to this day, I remember those tears in my dad's eyes out of pride and happiness and that's when I decided I would write about them whenever and whichever possible ways because that's the only way I could express my gratitude to them for all that they have done for me.

Many of us are blessed with innumerable talents, but how much time do we take to use those talents to bring happiness to our parents. Each of us is busy striving to exhibit our talents to the world, which is wonderful. But, have we spent a little of our talents to help our parents relax and unwind?

 Recently my parents stepped into the 33rd year of their married life. Their marriage and life had been exemplary. Most of us are blessed to have wonderful parents in our life. When we are young, we are with them but as we grow up and branch out with our families it's important that we spend some precious moments with them and see them in gratitude.

Yes. No parents expect anything in return. I hardly heard my parents talk about their struggles. Instead, they have asked me something in return for the same. But, aren't we supposed to express our gratitude for all that they have done for us?

I have attended a few funerals, where children come on stage and cry and talk about their dead parent and express gratitude. I have always wondered why couldn't they do the same when they were alive and let them know how much they meant to them.

All of us expect appreciation at the workplace, we expect a certificate of appreciation in competitions, we expect I love you messages from our spouses and happy Birthday wishes from our relatives but why is it so hard to tell a THANK YOU to our parents?

A thank you need not be just a word it can be though our gestures. A surprise dinner with them, a holiday with them. A pair of new clothes for them. Accompanying them to the doctor's appointment. A phone call every day. There are plenty of ways where we can express our gratitude and love.

I express my gratitude and say "thank you", to my parents for the wonderful life they have given me through my writing, I encourage each one of you, take a little effort today to let your parents know that you truly acknowledge their efforts and love them for what they did, are doing and will do.

Most importantly remember your children are watching you. You reap what you sow.

 

-Sonal Lobo

Bangalore

 

Rekindle the spark in your love

 

Well, the valentine season is here, love is in the air and every lovie-dovie is looking forward to a romantic moment. Tis the time of blooming relationships but if yours has gotten old, no need to worry. Your honeymoon phase may be over, but that doesn't have to be the end of your romance. Bring out of  your relationship rut and rekindle the passion that brought you together in the first place.

Try something new or crazy together

Relationships generally lose the spark when couples fall into the same routine. Comfort is must but it's imperative thay this comfort doesn't cause you to overlook your partner or to give up on the possibility of a little excitement. Try something new ; be it any activity, a tv show or a new hobby, that you and your partner will enjoy while changing up your routine in a healthy way.

More intimacy

Physical touch doesn't have to mean bedtime activities but can include things like hugging, back rubs, snuggling or just general touching. This will not only make your partner feel safe but also develop a strong romantic connection. Also, more touching leads to more sex, and will definitely help to rekindle the spark in your relationship. Introducing new things in your sex life can also be a way to bring back the thrill or fire of passion.

Plan surprise dates

Take turns planning secret dates for each other. The surprise will add a mystery and desire. But make sure about your partner's preferences and dislikes. You can also try something adventurous that both of you are interested in.

Finally, identify the strengths of your relationship and dream big. Reawaken yourself to what you have taken for granted. Allow yourself to fully experience the small kindnesses and warm companionship, or acts of affection between you two. Now get ready to fall in love all over again with your partner and have a happy valentine's.

-Susmita Chatterjee

 

Know your real friends

 

Ask yourself; "Do the people whom you call friends fill you up and motivate you to be your best self? Do you feel emotionally safe and comfortable around them? Do you find help from them during your difficult times? If not, then you may have some fake friends around your circle who are responsible for draining away your energy and leaving you with a lingering question of what a friend actually is. 

In every part of life, we come across new people. Some of them become closer to us, we build deeper connections and call them our "best friends". Apart from them, there are newer connections too. However, whether the relationship is new or old, everyone wants to be sure the friend is a 'quality friend'. 

 

Fake vs. Real Friends:

As young, we were not so mindful and intentional about friendships. As we grew up, we focused on trying to be fit in a friendship rather than finding friends who have that ' friendship integrity'. 

Friends are always there when we need them. They encourage us, inspire us, and they pray for our best. But there is another type of friend that is not actually a friend at all.

True friends always have your back, and do not judge you despite your flaws. They make equal efforts to nurture the friendship. But fake friends aren't genuine at all. They may seem as expendable and convenient when it suits them. They are inconsistent in loyalty as well as in their efforts to make the friendship work. 

Sometimes, it is hard to discern authentic friends from fake ones. To find your real friends among toxic and apathetic people is a difficult task and mostly one ends up with no friends at all. It takes effort and self awareness to spot real friends among fake ones, but if you can, you get to have a lifetime support.

 

How to Spot Real Friends:

Eliminating fake friends from your circle not only improves your mental health but also makes your physical health better. A stressful relationship, be it friendship or other can cause body inflammations, research reports. A fake friend can appear to be caring and attentive but once you give them your trust and engage in a friendship, their true colours begin to show up. They try to change and manipulate you and take your advantage. They demand more while providing less and you, being a highly sensitive people- pleaser, fall in the trap and try to give more. But your real friends are exactly the opposite. They will tell you bitter truth, and not always please you, but they always care for you. With them, you will never find yourself alone, or heart-broken. They provide equal efforts in cultivating friendship and will inspire you. 

 

· They will be with you in your ebbs and flows- they do not disappear when you need them the most; whether you are struggling financially or physically, your true friends will always provide their support and motivate you. 

· They pray for your best and respect your opinions- A true friend is genuinely happy for your success and celebrates with you, and does not envy your progress. Also, they listen to you and respond respectfully without making personal judgements, attacking your decisions.

· They don't judge - true friends overlook your flaws and accept the real you. They love you like the way you are and accept that everyone comes with baggage and blemishes and never makes fun of your disabilities. They are trustworthy and respect your boundaries and stand up for you when you need them the most. 

· They are fun to be around - your real friends won't diminish you in front of others. They believe in your essence, and exhibit a positive attitude. They alway uplift your mood when you are feeling low. You might feel good genuinely to be around them. 

 

How to make real friends :

The best way to not fall into the fake friend trap is to be self aware. Notice the changes in the behaviour of your friends and be more mindful about who you make friends with. A little effort can help you emit toxic people and enjoy the warmth of a true friendship.

Go out and meet more people. Engage in deep conversations and look for the qualities you feel necessary in a friend. Pay attention to their behaviours and demand to know them tactfully. You are more likely to meet like minded people when you visit your favourite places. If you find a potential friend, then go for an outing. Invite them over lunch and spend time together. You cannot expect friends to show up at your doorstep. You ought to engage in new friendships and level up your comfort zone. And lastly do not give up. Don't get disappointed if you fail to find a special and unique bond right away. Keep exploring and you will encounter that exceptional person who is waiting for someone just like you. 

 

Now that you will be able to distinguish between a fake and real friend, end all toxic relationships. You may find that you have always been surrounded by fake people, but don't get disheartened. They take away more from you. Allow yourself to enjoy the warmth of true friendship and make the same to treasure them. Be the friend you expect and want others to be. May your courage and compassion guide you and you sort out your friendship, acknowledge the pain provided by your fake friends and forgive them. Only then you will be able to move forward and fully benefit from the real friends you have now.

 

How to Style Your Winter?

 “Fashion is a trend. Style lies within a person” – Oscar De La Penta

W inter can be one of the challenging season to con-sistently wear outfits that both keep you warm and chic. But finding outfits that are both weather appropriate and figure flatter-ing does not have to be a challenge. Simple planning can actually keep you warm and stylish without having to sac-rifice function or aesthetically pleasing looks. It is a lot easier to put outfits to-gether when you create a small winter collection of essentials in your closet. When it comes to styling , the best way is to choose -5 main styles that you are comfortable with and switch between styles every week or so.

Let’s begin with the top 5 styling tips for win-ter.

1. Go over the knee

Though many women shy away from wearing over the knee boots, they definitely add vibran-cy and fun to any outfit you wear. Get a trendy look by either pairing them with matching pants or skirt, in differ-ent shades and material you feel comfortable wearing.

2. Match your winter hat to your coat

During winter ,a lot of body heat can be lost by not protecting your head. So, a hat is a must when temperatures get really low. A great option is to wear a quality faux fur trapper, or a wool hat. Match your hat or beanie with your winter coat to transform and complete your winter look.

3. Lots of layering

Layering not only adds warmth to your winter outfit but screams CHIC and TRENDY. Layering allows you to play with mixture of patterns and textures, and also recycle old dresses and make the most out of them.

4. Put a cape on

Capes or ponchos are always perfect choice when you want a dramatic and chic wear with minimal efforts. You can always pull in the look with jeans or dresses; opting for more prints would give a more unique look.

5. Explore your colour palette

Just because the weather is dull and gloomy, doesn’t mean you have to. Explore your colour palette this winter and try different coloured coats and blazers. Add scarves with a variety of textures, bright prints and colours to give a more vibrant and higher impact look.

“Clothes aren’t going to change the world, the woman who wears then will.”- Anne Klein

Hope the tips help you to create a capsule wardrobe that works best for you. Be sure to put your comfort first and remember you’re beautiful; and don’t forget to cherish yourself and MOISTURIZE.

-Susmita Chatterjee

Importance of Family

 The most important thing to be successful is the ability to trust yourself. But in this dynamic world, we change our thoughts every single second. So how we are able to trust ourselves fully? Wondering! What're the real obstacles in our success route? It's only our belief that we are not capable of doing it. Often we blame others but it's not correct. We focus on negativity so much that we throw all the positive hope away. What if we stop believing ourselves? No worries, because some people makes us believe in their belief that we are capable, we can go ahead, we can do it.

We need someone who can hold our hands in times when we don't trust ourselves. It may be our family, friends or anyone whom we can trust blindly. No words can explain the true impact of family and friends in anyone's life. It's not just a word or a bunch of people whom we constantly want to be with. It's an unseen bond which holds you in your tough times, which can make you smile when your heart cries. It can take you up higher and higher when you think of quitting. It's not just an emotion but a belief, hope, trust, support, caring, sharing and much more. They just want to be with you never demand anything in return. An investment which generates compounded returns throughout your life as your helping hand. As a human being, we are in constant need of support and love. Love from our parent's, family friends and most importantly from our self. Having a strong network of supportive family and friends helps us in our mental well-being also. Apart from the basic psychological needs - air, water etc and safety needs - save the environment, job security we need social interaction also. we need some people whom we can trust and share our feelings, who can advise us when we are in a dilemma and encourage us whenever we face difficult times. You are the two most prominent example of the importance of a relationship with family and friend. The first one is the world-famous cricketer who changed the perception of the world towards cricket, none other than the legendary Master Blaster Sachin Tendulkar. Sachin said "there is no buddy like a brother!! Thank you for all your support over the years, Ajit". Sachin owes a great deal of his success to Ajit his half-brother who left his cricket job and career for him. Ajit did everything to make it possible for Sachin to play cricket with peace of mind. It's because of all the sacrifices and support of his family members he is what he is and the world knows him.

The second example is of the king of investment - Warren Buffett. He shared with Forbes in 2013 how important it is to encourage children to do what they want to do. He said, "We never gave any instructions on specifics, but I think they did pick up the values that were meaningful to their mother and myself". He also pointed out that he is most grateful to his father for his unrelenting support for whatever he wanted to do. He mentioned, "He was not trying to live his life through me".

''Love is the greatest advantage a parent can give.'' - Warren Buffett

Having anyone around us who can understand us is very important for our success. It's not easy to trust anyone but if you are trusting anyone then trust them fully. Sometimes there are circumstances when all things seem wrong to us. But at that time also we need to keep patience and understand the situation. Not only ours but we should look at other circumstances also. Never judge anyone. Maybe you don't know what the others are doing for you?

-Anuradha Agarwal

Bring Peace to your Relationships

 Every relationship is a “roller coaster” ride, filled with ups and downs; somewhere it can be really challenging, also very rewarding as well, leading to a thrilling package of love and togetherness.

No relationship is a perfect one, and it is totally normal for partners to disagree on things, have trust issues , incompatibility and unmet expectations, to name a few. The problem starts when the disagreements are handled poorly or delayed ,which causes more stress among partners resulting in further misunderstandings and arguments. Your relationship may be going through a tough phase now, but no conflict exists which cannot be resolved with poise and understanding. Everyone prefers a night of fun and cuddles over fighting and shouting. So, if you want to have a calm and fun relationship, here are some ways for you.

BEWARE OF YOUR FEELINGS AND TRY NOT TO OVERREACT

We tend to start arguments when we ourselves are annoyed. You might think that you are annoyed at your partner because they didn’t reply soon enough, or was late to a date, but in reality, you are annoyed because you disagreed with your friends or a dispute at the job. Before you start arguments, compose your feelings, and try to consciously listen to your thoughts. When you listen to something you dislike, you tend to be angry. But before you snap at your partner, take some time alone. If you still feel terrible, try something which uplifts your mood. This way the negativity curbs down, thoughts become more rational, and a person becomes less argumentative when confronting their partners.

COMMUNICATE

Communication is always the best effort you can put to stop your fights. When your partner says something that pisses you off explain it to them. We all have been to “one-word replies” , to make our partner known that we are angry. But it isn’t the healthiest way to sort out problems. In this digital world, though texting may help us to think and control one's emotions before replying, the person reading those might not be able to “catch” the tone of the texts; drawing out the argument for days. Then, the best you can do is sort the problems face to face and let your body language and tone do the talking.

Playing the blame game is never fruitful. It might be easy but is equally unfair, unkind and vague. When you blame your partner, they become more defensive; one becomes the victim and the other becomes the origin of all problems. Remember, listen to what each of you has to say, act upon that, and be proactive to solve the discomforts.

APOLOGISE AND ACCEPT APOLOGIES

If you want to be in a relation, get over your pride and learn to apologise. Making mistakes is very normal, fights are normal too and therefore both of you should be comfortable with apologizing. Both of you can do make valid points in an argument, so you need to be more open and apologise when you are wrong. When your partner is upset, they need your support and love. Show them your sincerity by making an apology.

Even if you are still angry after an intense fight, you should always accept an apology. If you don’t, you are putting your partner off apologizing in the future. Forgiveness is not something you should withhold, and if you do, your partner might end up thinking that you are playing with their feelings. Therefore, accept genuine apologies and try to fix the problem.

REMEMBER YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FIGHTS

If you are past your “honeymoon phase”, don’t you worry. You can always go on having a deep and meaningful relationship with some sincere efforts and love for each other.

Everyone has their baggage of problems, you need to learn to go past it and fight to make your relationship work.

Don’t just focus on the bad traits of your partner every time you fight. The more you focus on negative traits, the more negativity your relationship will get surrounded with. Think about the positive traits, recall why did you fall in love with them at first, or what are they good at. Always remember that there is a reason you are in this relationship. You might not be able to change the past, but the present and the future is yours to define. So, shut your hard feelings in the closet, start looking forward with positivity, be more generous and treat your partner with more love and care.

MAKE TIME TOGETHER AND TAKE TIME APART

This a mechanical world and we all have loads of responsibilities, be it career, passion, family and others. Sometimes, it may be difficult to take time out of your of a busy schedule and spend quality time with your partner, which can be very normal. But workload can never be your excuse every time. It is important to carve some time out of your schedule and give your partner a full day of undivided attention, to cherish and prioritize them. Express your affections and talk to them about your problems, which makes you come out as feeling positive about your relationship.

Equally, you should think about taking time apart from each other. While things at your work can cause stress, it also trues that relationship is overwhelming and stressful. Be encouraged about taking time apart, as it helps you to have a different perspective of your relationship.

LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF

Prioritize yourself first. If you don’t love yourself, you can neither impart love nor accept love from others.it becomes a constant worry that your partner may leave you. Insecurities grow from this emotional crack, makes you clingy, needy, jealous and annoying. Focus and spend time with yourself. Do not rely on others for complimenting you. Remind yourself that you are worthy of love and you will find yourself encountering fewer conflicts. One highly effective way of strengthening the relationship is taking good care of yourself, sparing some “me time”. Eat healthily and sleep well, for what it aids in a good relationship.

Every couple goes through rough patches but constant conflicts are tiring and draining. You tend to find the true essence of your relationship when there is more love than arguments. When there are fewer fights, you enjoy each other more. May these ways help you in your next arguments, and you resolve quickly into a more peaceful and fun relationship with each other.

-Susmita Chatterjee

HOW TO REBUILD TRUST IN A RELATIONSHIP

“When you fully trust someone without any doubt, you finally get one of the two results: - A person for life or a lesson for life.”

Whether we believe it or not, most of us has encountered the bitter taste of betrayal; at times we experience it from our significant other. But life moves on and we make new relationships or even try to amend the broken ones, though the question remains.” Will I be able to trust my partner again? Will I get hurt again? What if he turns out the same?” Whatever the question keeps lingering on our minds, they converge to a reality that being able to trust someone again is overwhelming. However slow or scary the process may seem, trust can be rebuild.

So, if you are willing to put real efforts in your relationships or repair your crippled relationship, here are some tips:

1. Openly discuss your relationship status:

Build a habit of checking in with each other about how your relationship is proceeding. Learn to discuss their feelings with each other.If you feel something is not going as you had wished, then confront your partner. Feel free to discuss emotions related to insecurity, anxiety, ambivalence, and how would like your connections to proceed. This not only improves trust but also reduce the likelihood of misunderstandings due to untold and unresolved issues.

2. Be reliable, honest and transparent:

Learn to be responsible. Do not let your actions defy your words. Your partner looks up to you when you are reliable. Transparency is a great way to showcase your commitment. Do not let your partner work to get information- offer it freely. Though it may breach your privacy, but hide nothing. People tend to trust when their partner is honest and forthcoming with information.

3. Acknowledge your feelings:

You cannot console your partner unless you console yourself. Learn to acknowledge your own feelings and confess to your partners. If something is bothering you, tell them. Avoiding raising an issue at the right moment causes more discomfort. But don’t be defensive. Own your actions, and let your partner know that you will put more efforts to make things better. Learn to be patient, addressing the problem will lead to the strengthening of bond and gaining mutual trust.

 

“Without communication, there is no relationship. Without respect, there is no love. Without trust, there is no reason to continue.”

4. Communicate:

However bad the situation is, communicate. Even if you feel shattered, still communicate. Your partner is also a human. Don’t expect them to read your mind. Speak up, and create an environment to allow your significant other to open up. Explain your feelings, however trivial it may seem, be it jealousy, insecurity, or even if you are feeling low or worthless. Small tasks like exchanging texts, informing about your daily routine can really help you to build a sense of connection and trust.

5. Respect each other:

Treat each other humbly, nothing can surpass genuine love. Don’t try to control the person; love your partner for who they are. In a healthy relationship; valuing each other’s opinions, listening to each other, being kind, honouring boundaries, compromising, cheering up each other, contributes to respect. Also, respect yourself. Self-respect is the key to build confidence and maintain a healthy relationship by respecting your partner.

“Trust can be rebuilt. It takes time, communication and pure honesty.”

A healthy relationship is based on foundations of trust, understanding and romance. A secure relationship also has physicals impacts such as reduced illness, lower blood pressure, and peace of mind. So, do not violate trust again. Keep the small commitments, be a good listener, give each other personal space, only then you can finally taste the sweetness of unconditional love.

-Susmita Chatterjee

Friendship Day 2020

Sunday

, 

2 August

International Friendship Day 2020 in India

"To Readers,
I wish everyone, Happy Friendship Day 2020 & I wish all my friends that too, without whom I would not be who I am today.

Soumadeep Chatterjee"

Friendship day is celebrated all over the world by everyone, all the school buddies wish their friends & provide each other with a friendship band.

We all miss our days when we used to spend quality time with friends

Friendship is a very beautiful relationship that almost every human being has felt. A person is a friend if he stays in times of need.

Some of our best memories are created with friends

The term friendship is not limited. Your parents, brother, life partner, relative, literally anyone can be your best friend. So please don't limit your throughts. Enjoy this special bond with everyone. Keep friends who are worthy. Go an extra mile for them and who knows you might get a lifetime membership of that person in your life.

Friends are the best part of our lives with whom we share our lives

I hope all of you will be there with your friends and make them family. Because that is the best thing you can do to a friend. Give them so much love & make space for them in your heart, so that the friend turns into family.

Friends are the ones who stays with you no matter what

This wonderful day is celebrated by Indians on the first Sunday of August. According to me, it is the best day as majority of people have Sunday as a off day. We always have underrated this day. But it is a day that we must all try to be together with our friends. We must stop for a moment on this day. Look back & rejoice the moment with our friends.

Friendship is not limited to humans only, as friendship with pets are more intimate than one can explain

Relationships during Pandemic

 

Romance has upgraded itself & evolved during this new social-distancing era

Once upon a time before all these new changes came, people used to wait eagerly for their date in a romantic restaurant or go to a bar to catch-up with their partners. But all these things are now different. Most of the people are stuck in their homes with their work from home (WFH) while some have to commute to work amidst whatever the situation is. Some are committed & are trying to keep the romance alive, while others who are single and are either searching for a partner or are stuck in their relationship level. This article will help all these categories to relate their differences & will provide a solution to keep the spark alive & to take their relationship to a whole new level.

Those who are working or are pressed right under their regular life are trying very hard to adjust to this change. Suddenly after lockdown, there are many who had to spend extra hours with their loved ones and thus using up all the factor X that glues a relationship & gives a spicy feeling whenever they meet & spend time. But now things are normal & normal is boring.

Let us not forget why you fell in love the first time & how your love for your partner evolved

It is time to revamp the factor X in your relationship. Both the partners must try to mix their daily lives & interactions with different things, bring back the spicy sensations. The little jokes that used to make your partner giggle. Some unexpected compliment. The trick is to imagine that you are trying to impress your partner, what would you do? DO THAT!

A new relationship can be full of excitement & new feelings. When two new people meet the feeling of bonding & getting to know each other is something which everyone loves. But their happiness is getting dampened due to the new challenges & limitations set upon them. Now everyone will have to wear masks & even before you hold hands, the thought whether your hand or your partner's hand is corona-free might cross your mind. Social places & transport facilities are also not smooth. Hence, the only place where they can freely bond is via online.

 

 

Hold each other's hands in happiness & sadness and this too shall pass

 

Remember, it is only a matter of time. Things will change, so just hang on tight. Get to know each other properly, bond with each other. Work on your communication skills. These are the times which will help you strengthen the basics of your relationship. Hence, use it wisely & in an optimum manner.