Know your real friends

 

Ask yourself; "Do the people whom you call friends fill you up and motivate you to be your best self? Do you feel emotionally safe and comfortable around them? Do you find help from them during your difficult times? If not, then you may have some fake friends around your circle who are responsible for draining away your energy and leaving you with a lingering question of what a friend actually is. 

In every part of life, we come across new people. Some of them become closer to us, we build deeper connections and call them our "best friends". Apart from them, there are newer connections too. However, whether the relationship is new or old, everyone wants to be sure the friend is a 'quality friend'. 

 

Fake vs. Real Friends:

As young, we were not so mindful and intentional about friendships. As we grew up, we focused on trying to be fit in a friendship rather than finding friends who have that ' friendship integrity'. 

Friends are always there when we need them. They encourage us, inspire us, and they pray for our best. But there is another type of friend that is not actually a friend at all.

True friends always have your back, and do not judge you despite your flaws. They make equal efforts to nurture the friendship. But fake friends aren't genuine at all. They may seem as expendable and convenient when it suits them. They are inconsistent in loyalty as well as in their efforts to make the friendship work. 

Sometimes, it is hard to discern authentic friends from fake ones. To find your real friends among toxic and apathetic people is a difficult task and mostly one ends up with no friends at all. It takes effort and self awareness to spot real friends among fake ones, but if you can, you get to have a lifetime support.

 

How to Spot Real Friends:

Eliminating fake friends from your circle not only improves your mental health but also makes your physical health better. A stressful relationship, be it friendship or other can cause body inflammations, research reports. A fake friend can appear to be caring and attentive but once you give them your trust and engage in a friendship, their true colours begin to show up. They try to change and manipulate you and take your advantage. They demand more while providing less and you, being a highly sensitive people- pleaser, fall in the trap and try to give more. But your real friends are exactly the opposite. They will tell you bitter truth, and not always please you, but they always care for you. With them, you will never find yourself alone, or heart-broken. They provide equal efforts in cultivating friendship and will inspire you. 

 

· They will be with you in your ebbs and flows- they do not disappear when you need them the most; whether you are struggling financially or physically, your true friends will always provide their support and motivate you. 

· They pray for your best and respect your opinions- A true friend is genuinely happy for your success and celebrates with you, and does not envy your progress. Also, they listen to you and respond respectfully without making personal judgements, attacking your decisions.

· They don't judge - true friends overlook your flaws and accept the real you. They love you like the way you are and accept that everyone comes with baggage and blemishes and never makes fun of your disabilities. They are trustworthy and respect your boundaries and stand up for you when you need them the most. 

· They are fun to be around - your real friends won't diminish you in front of others. They believe in your essence, and exhibit a positive attitude. They alway uplift your mood when you are feeling low. You might feel good genuinely to be around them. 

 

How to make real friends :

The best way to not fall into the fake friend trap is to be self aware. Notice the changes in the behaviour of your friends and be more mindful about who you make friends with. A little effort can help you emit toxic people and enjoy the warmth of a true friendship.

Go out and meet more people. Engage in deep conversations and look for the qualities you feel necessary in a friend. Pay attention to their behaviours and demand to know them tactfully. You are more likely to meet like minded people when you visit your favourite places. If you find a potential friend, then go for an outing. Invite them over lunch and spend time together. You cannot expect friends to show up at your doorstep. You ought to engage in new friendships and level up your comfort zone. And lastly do not give up. Don't get disappointed if you fail to find a special and unique bond right away. Keep exploring and you will encounter that exceptional person who is waiting for someone just like you. 

 

Now that you will be able to distinguish between a fake and real friend, end all toxic relationships. You may find that you have always been surrounded by fake people, but don't get disheartened. They take away more from you. Allow yourself to enjoy the warmth of true friendship and make the same to treasure them. Be the friend you expect and want others to be. May your courage and compassion guide you and you sort out your friendship, acknowledge the pain provided by your fake friends and forgive them. Only then you will be able to move forward and fully benefit from the real friends you have now.